How Can You Make a Miserable Job Work For You?

Are you feeling stuck at work? Does your job make you dread waking up in the morning? We spend so much time at work that it’s a shame if you can’t find something that brings you joy while you are there.

Sometimes leaving your job isn’t an option. However, you don’t have to live a life of misery. Here are some tips that just may change the way you feel about work:

-Write a list of all the tasks that you actually enjoy doing in your job, even if it is only one or two things. Try to find a way to perform these tasks more throughout the day.

For example, if you really like interacting with customers, then try to talk to your customers more and find out what they like, and what they would like to see change. And just think how impressed your boss will be when you are able to come up with a solution that increases customer sales, purely through the feedback you received by talking with the customers. Plus, your customers will feel more valued!

-Become an expert at something, preferably something you are interested in.

Maybe you work with Microsoft Excel spreadsheets a lot. Take a class to deepen your knowledge of the program, and then share your knowledge with co-workers. Chances are people will start coming to you with questions about Excel and word will get around. Wouldn’t it feel good if the CEO comes to you because he can’t figure out how to “split” a workbook (little Excel lingo for ya!)? Plus, it’s really hard to get rid of someone who is providing the office with knowledge that no one else has.

-Don’t take yourself too seriously; it’s ONLY A JOB after all!

Sometimes we get so caught up in working, that we forget the many other things that we have going on in our life (the great things) – dinner with friends, enjoying your kids, the good book you can’t put down, our favorite TV show (The Office for me), milestone celebrations, etc. All I am saying is, sometimes you need to put into perspective that your life is composed of a lot more than your job. Put in your time when you are there, and when you are not there, forget about it!

-If you hate your boss, try to find a way not to.

I have news for you. If you hate your boss, she/he knows it! I am sure your hate permeates through you at times. And really think about this – would you give a raise or promotion to someone who hated you? Probably not…So you are going to have to find a way to stop being a hater. This isn’t easy, but it can start with changing your thoughts. If you start to think of your boss as someone who is purely trying to complete their job with your help, and remove the personal things that are involved (ie – the tone they take with you, how they demand something from you, how they make you feel) then you will be able to remove some of the feelings you have connected with your boss. And remember, it’s rarely all about you! We get so caught up in how our bosses treat us sometimes, that we think we must be the “special” one that they target. But this is usually not the case. If you take the time to see how they treat other people, you will see similarities.

I challenge you to give one or more of these a try and let me know how it goes! And if you have been dealing with this for a while, I would love to hear more tips you may have for bringing more joy (and less misery) into your job?

What Gets In The Way Of Trusting Your Instinct?

I contemplated bringing my huge golf umbrella in with me to Starbucks. After all, it was only slightly raining, and I was sure I could run into the café without getting soaked. Plus, this is Syracuse, NY. It rarely rains ALL DAY (now snow is a different story). However, here I am, over 3 hours later sitting in Starbucks and the rain still has not let up. It’s actually been raining really hard since I entered the café. Oh, and I decided not to bring the umbrella in with me.

This got me to thinking, how many times have I made a decision, only to decide to follow a different path than what I had decided on at the last minute? I find myself doing this a lot. Here are a few examples.

-Since my gas light is on, I decide to get gas on my way home from work so that I won’t have to deal with it in the morning. Once I start my venture home, I decide I am too tired and will just go straight home. Once the morning comes, I am running late anyway, and now I am much later because I have to get gas if I want to go anywhere! This is when I start cursing myself.

-I decide that I will pack for a weekend away the day before leaving. This gives me time to pick my outfits, gather my jewelry, makeup, etc. Then I tell myself that there’s no need to pack so early. I end up packing in a hurry and with frustration the day we leave. Then I am running late which is aggravating.

I guess what I am learning is that my first instincts are usually the best ones. I need to trust these and rely on them more. Usually, the little red guy comes along and gives me a million reasons why I shouldn’t trust myself. Sometimes I just have to fight back! Last night I started obsessing about how badly the house needed to be vacuumed. I told myself that I would vacuum after my favorite show, The Office, was over. Once it ended, guess what happened? The red guy came along and told me that I could vacuum in the morning so no need to get off the couch! I firmly told him to stop. I stood up, got out the vacuum and the rest is history. I ended up going to bed with a cleaner house and one less thing I had to worry about today.

Was there a time in the past when you ignored your instinct? What happened? What gets in the way of you trusting your first instinct?

Six Principles

When people hear that I heard Rudolph Giuliani speak at the “Get Motivated” seminar, they often want to know what his message was. I was really impressed by his openness to discuss 9/11, and inspired by his basic principles of success:

1. Find a mentor, someone that is doing what you achieve to do, and listen to what they have to say.

2. Make sure your read books. If you don’t like to read, find a topic that interests you and then buy books on it. He hated to read, but loved the NY Yankees so his parents bought him books on the NY Yankees and that sparked his interest in reading. Now he is always reading – one book for pleasure and one book for personal growth.

3. Write things down. Take notes. Make pro/con lists. Write down your goals!

4. Everyday do nothing for five minutes (relax).

5. Learn how to listen and ask questions of those you look up to.

6. It’s better to be around when things go wrong then when they go right.

Maybe you are already instilling these principles in your life. If so, which ones? If not, what principles can you start applying now?

What Was Lacking In Your Twenties?

For the first time ever, I ran my credit report. As I was reviewing it, I realized that I had charged thousands of dollars on credit cards starting at 19 years old. It was only recently that I stopped using credit cards, and I can honestly say that I no longer possess a lot of the items that were purchased on credit. I remember many times when I needed a new shirt to wear out on Friday night, or my friends wanted to go out for dinner, or I decided I deserved a weekend away in Boston even though I didn’t have the cash to pay for it. The credit cards always came to the rescue and made things happen. I am still paying cash on a monthly basis for those bad decisions that were years ago!

I really believe that one of the reasons I made some of those decisions was because I was confused! I didn’t really know what I wanted or what I believed in. I graduated college and was instantly removed from my five best friends that I had lived with for a year or longer. I also lost the flexibility that’s allowed in college. The story I had always believed was that I would graduate college and get a job and live happily ever after! This story was far from the truth. I was extremely let down when I started working full time. I felt as if my job was my life and it was suffocating me. I ended up taking refuge in material things, or going out partying with friends. At 23 years old I told myself that I was young and would eventually grow up and get a good paying job to pay off the debt! I have learned that this is also a lie.

It wasn’t until about five years later that I decided I needed to figure out who I was as an individual and what I wanted out of my life. I was enrolled in graduate school and getting my Masters in Counseling and I figured that I should probably experience counseling for myself if I was going to be a counselor. I started seeing a counselor on a weekly basis. Within a few months, I started breaking down the beliefs that I had about myself, as well as examining the expectations that others had placed on me.

I noticed that as I started to become more emotionally raw and in tune with my true self, I started finding less joy in shopping. I learned that some of the things that I value are freedom and security. I knew that it would be impossible to have either of these with enormous debt. I also became more confident with who I was as a person which caused me to be more assertive and speak up if I was unable to afford something. This self-exploration changed the way I use and value money.

The reason I am sharing all of this is because I have been reflecting a lot lately on the life that I led in my twenties. For the most part, I loved that decade of my life, but I really wish I would have taken more time early on to get in touch with my true self. College was a great time for me to gain responsibility, make friends, and learn about the field I thought I was interested in, but I didn’t learn a whole lot about me. Once you are removed from your parents, it’s the perfect time to figure out who you are independent of them, but I don’t know of any classes in college that teach this.

More recently, I have found some really great resources on this subject and I wish I would have known about these while I was going through my little twenty something crisis. Christine Hassler has written a few books on this subject, “20 Something 20 Everything” and “20 Something Manifesto”. I read both of these and did the exercises. I wish I would have read them 10 years ago! Jenny Blake has an amazing blog that is chocked full of tips for “Life After College”, which is the title of her new book. If you are feeling at all like you are in a twenty or thirty something crisis, I encourage you to check these amazing women out! They have coached me a lot through their books and blogs and don’t even know it!

I would love to hear if others have had a similar experience in their twenties? If not, what do you think helped prepare you for life after graduation?

Decisions

I gave myself a sick day. Coming off of a hilarious, party-hardy, lost my voice weekend with my girlfriends, I still have a bit of a “fun-hangover”, and it is Wednesday already! I got out of bed at 6 a.m., only to sneak back to bed at 7 a.m. after my husband left for work.

While waking up from my early a.m. nap, I told myself today is going to be a waste…I was fighting a cold, didn’t have my voice, and I was just sooo tired! The joy of being self-employed is that you don’t have to call your boss to tell them you’re sick and won’t be coming into work. This is also the downside of being self-employed. You can have as many sick days as you would like (whether they are justified or not).

Ok, so I am feeling tired, have a raspy voice and the sniffles. I don’t have to go out in public or expose others to my germs. There really was no reason I couldn’t knock of the few goals I set for myself today.

I’m not going to say that I turned the day around and crossed off everything on my “To Do” list...I actually spent most of the day having an internal fight with myself that centered around getting stuff done versus lying on the couch. However, there came a point in the day where I recognized that I could either continue to fight with myself to step away from the couch, or I could make a decision to be OK with my laziness. Tomorrow is always a new day and the “To Do” list will still be there. I chose to keep my sick day.